Friday, 13 July 2012

Ashes - What to do with His Ashes

Last week I collected Mr Trifectagirl's ashes.  On picking up the box, my first thought was 'he's not lost much weight'.  I'd forgotten how heavy they are. 

I've been through the process of collecting ashes before - my Mum and Step-Dad both passed in 2008.

Sister and I were quite amused when we collected them because they came in their own Cemeteries Authority heavy paper shopping bag - like you get from high-end clothing stores.  They would have cracked up also.  At least we held our giggles until we got in the car.

We had instructions on what to do with Mum and Step-Dad - half into the wall at cemetery where they lived, half to be mixed together and buried with the dog on their property.  Instructions were duly followed.  We even used Mum's stock-pot to mix the remaining ashes together - Dad was horrified. 

Back to Mr Trifectagirl.  I had no instructions.  I could only assume cremation was his preferred option and have part of him, at least, with his dad.  I could inter, scatter or do whatever comes up with the remainder. 

So I have a few options. 

I will probably hold an amount to scatter in Ireland along with his dad (who's ashes are still under my bed).  The plan was for Mr Trifectagirl to scatter them there, so I'm happy to follow that wish in years to come.

Some of the personal memorial options, like compressing the ashes to a diamond, have never appealed, but I have found this which I'm considering:  I like the idea of the swirl design with our wedding colours. Mr Trifectagirl had an appreciation for sculpture, so it's fitting and doesn't seem wrong for him.

The remainder I'll probably inter at our church - hopefully in the renovated gardens that are planned.  As Mother In Law is also a member of the congregation, I can also inter his dad there, and mother when she passes.

And I need remember to save space for part of me with Mr Trifectagirl when the time comes, too. 

But for the moment, he's on my dressing table, holding my jewelry. 


  1. Wow, I had pictured ashes would come in...something else! Your plans sound perfect. I love the memory glass, what a beautiful reminder of him =)

  2. It's a tough decision to make without instructions - my sister and I had to decide what to do with our mum's. We gave ourselves plenty of time to ponder which sounds like what you're doing. The memory glass is lovely.