This week, Mr Trifectagirl's mother passed away unexpectedly, aged 81. She had been in hospital for treatment related to diabetes, which had been going ok, but must have taken a very sudden turn. The doctors told me there was no expectation or warning of her death. The nurses checked her, all ok. Doctors did their rounds within half an hour or so, and she was gone. The doctor who had to make the call sounded in dis-belief at the situation.
We were not expecting her to last long due to grief after Mr Trifectagirl died, but she surprised us all in surviving a year. I had money on her living another 10 - she was a pretty strong willed woman, and although restricted to bed or a wheelchair, still fairly independent getting out and about to lunches with friends and to church nearly every week. In the end, she made it to 15 months.
She revelled in having J in her life. She regularly told me that he's just like his father was at the same age. I suspect J is what kept her going this long.
Nanna being gone means that here, J has no family from his father's side. There are relatives in the UK, but not here. I'm conscious of that potential gap in him forming his identity as he grows up.
I am now in the process of organising a funeral, and yet again have a carport full of belongings that need to be sorted out. All at a crunch time for University assessments, too*.
And dealing with the compounding of the grief that my mother in law's passing has added to the loss of Mr Trifectagirl.
* I don't recommend trying to do on-line accounting assessments the day you hear your mother in law has died. You fail. Spectacularly. Thankfully it was only a small section of an overall assessment, but the full thing is due by 5pm Tuesday. I'm now not expecting a brilliant final result.