In two days I have surgery, and I'm apprehensive about it. I now have a sharpened perspective of what 'one in one thousand' odds of something bad looks like.
Since Mr Trifectagirl died, each month I get sinus infections, and until recently off I'd go to the doctor for a script for antibiotics. I've just taken so many now that some have stopped agreeing with me, and we need to keep a couple available for future use.
A bit of investigating a number of months ago, including a CT scan, showed that I have quite compact sinuses, so anatomically they're more prone to infection than the average person. As such, surgery to open them up was put on the table.
Not liking the idea of surgery, I looked at alternatives and found acupuncture sessions every two weeks kept the infections in check. Then my acupuncturist went on holidays and BANG, hello sinus infection.
That was enough to indicate that I should probably have the surgery. It won't stop me getting sick with colds and such, but has a very high probability of stopping something like a common cold developing to a sinus infection as well.
One up-side to surgery, a night in hospital with someone else cooking, cleaning & no small person taking up half the bed.
Pity it's only an overnight stay.
Monday, 23 September 2013
Saturday, 14 September 2013
End of an Era
This week, Mr Trifectagirl's mother passed away unexpectedly, aged 81. She had been in hospital for treatment related to diabetes, which had been going ok, but must have taken a very sudden turn. The doctors told me there was no expectation or warning of her death. The nurses checked her, all ok. Doctors did their rounds within half an hour or so, and she was gone. The doctor who had to make the call sounded in dis-belief at the situation.
We were not expecting her to last long due to grief after Mr Trifectagirl died, but she surprised us all in surviving a year. I had money on her living another 10 - she was a pretty strong willed woman, and although restricted to bed or a wheelchair, still fairly independent getting out and about to lunches with friends and to church nearly every week. In the end, she made it to 15 months.
She revelled in having J in her life. She regularly told me that he's just like his father was at the same age. I suspect J is what kept her going this long.
Nanna being gone means that here, J has no family from his father's side. There are relatives in the UK, but not here. I'm conscious of that potential gap in him forming his identity as he grows up.
I am now in the process of organising a funeral, and yet again have a carport full of belongings that need to be sorted out. All at a crunch time for University assessments, too*.
And dealing with the compounding of the grief that my mother in law's passing has added to the loss of Mr Trifectagirl.
* I don't recommend trying to do on-line accounting assessments the day you hear your mother in law has died. You fail. Spectacularly. Thankfully it was only a small section of an overall assessment, but the full thing is due by 5pm Tuesday. I'm now not expecting a brilliant final result.
We were not expecting her to last long due to grief after Mr Trifectagirl died, but she surprised us all in surviving a year. I had money on her living another 10 - she was a pretty strong willed woman, and although restricted to bed or a wheelchair, still fairly independent getting out and about to lunches with friends and to church nearly every week. In the end, she made it to 15 months.
She revelled in having J in her life. She regularly told me that he's just like his father was at the same age. I suspect J is what kept her going this long.
Nanna being gone means that here, J has no family from his father's side. There are relatives in the UK, but not here. I'm conscious of that potential gap in him forming his identity as he grows up.
I am now in the process of organising a funeral, and yet again have a carport full of belongings that need to be sorted out. All at a crunch time for University assessments, too*.
And dealing with the compounding of the grief that my mother in law's passing has added to the loss of Mr Trifectagirl.
* I don't recommend trying to do on-line accounting assessments the day you hear your mother in law has died. You fail. Spectacularly. Thankfully it was only a small section of an overall assessment, but the full thing is due by 5pm Tuesday. I'm now not expecting a brilliant final result.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Budgeting Strategy - Menu Planning
I've been menu planning for a number of years, and it's a great way of controlling the grocery budget.
Many blogs I read post menu plans for the week on Mondays, and it's a good source of tested recipes, rather than something someone's pinned thinking 'ooh that looks interesting' and not tried it.
Planning for me happens generally on a Thursday, to run Friday to Thursday. This helps finalise my shopping list for the week. I build my list during the week as items run out, add what I need for the menu and do my weekly shop on Fridays.
One thing I make use of is my big freezer. It's one of the first things I bought when I moved in. I grab meat in bulk or when on sale (or even better - both!) and freeze up into meal portions. I also blanch and freeze excess veggies from the garden.
This week's plan - 23 to 29 August:
Friday: The plan was for a beef curry, however once made (from a packet spice mix) this was too hot for J, so that got passed on to the parents, while we added toppings to a frozen pizza kept for just these occasions.
Saturday: Was going to be soup from the freezer, but I used the rice I'd cooked for the curry and made a fried rice with bits and pieces in the fridge/freezer.
Sunday: A pasta with a rose chicken sauce with mushrooms and spinach from the garden. The chicken used was left-over shredded chicken in the freezer.
Monday: Tonight will be yiros using left-over roast lamb.
Tuesday: This is family dinner night at the 'rents with my sister and her little boy.
Wednesday: Roast lamb rack with veggies. I managed to pick up a few mini racks that were just enough for J and I on sale, and put them aside in the freezer.
Thursday: Hunt the freezer night - I will often cook extra and put them aside for some nights. I then need to schedule freezer nights. If it gets too out of hand, it's freezer weeks to ensure turn-over.
I'll sometimes juggle when things don't go to plan - such as passing on the curry. The pasta and yiros were meant to be on opposite nights, but I swapped them over based on how the day panned out (Read: I forgot to get the meat out the freezer early enough...). But the menu for the week basically is as planned.
Many blogs I read post menu plans for the week on Mondays, and it's a good source of tested recipes, rather than something someone's pinned thinking 'ooh that looks interesting' and not tried it.
Planning for me happens generally on a Thursday, to run Friday to Thursday. This helps finalise my shopping list for the week. I build my list during the week as items run out, add what I need for the menu and do my weekly shop on Fridays.
One thing I make use of is my big freezer. It's one of the first things I bought when I moved in. I grab meat in bulk or when on sale (or even better - both!) and freeze up into meal portions. I also blanch and freeze excess veggies from the garden.
This week's plan - 23 to 29 August:
Friday: The plan was for a beef curry, however once made (from a packet spice mix) this was too hot for J, so that got passed on to the parents, while we added toppings to a frozen pizza kept for just these occasions.
Saturday: Was going to be soup from the freezer, but I used the rice I'd cooked for the curry and made a fried rice with bits and pieces in the fridge/freezer.
Sunday: A pasta with a rose chicken sauce with mushrooms and spinach from the garden. The chicken used was left-over shredded chicken in the freezer.
Monday: Tonight will be yiros using left-over roast lamb.
Tuesday: This is family dinner night at the 'rents with my sister and her little boy.
Wednesday: Roast lamb rack with veggies. I managed to pick up a few mini racks that were just enough for J and I on sale, and put them aside in the freezer.
Thursday: Hunt the freezer night - I will often cook extra and put them aside for some nights. I then need to schedule freezer nights. If it gets too out of hand, it's freezer weeks to ensure turn-over.
I'll sometimes juggle when things don't go to plan - such as passing on the curry. The pasta and yiros were meant to be on opposite nights, but I swapped them over based on how the day panned out (Read: I forgot to get the meat out the freezer early enough...). But the menu for the week basically is as planned.
Sunday, 4 August 2013
Goodbye Murphy
I'm a big fan of the personal financial management practices, particularly the baby steps, advocated by Dave Ramsey. It reminds me very much of how my grandmother managed her finances.
Before Mr Trifectagirl got sick, I was starting to get the baby steps moving. Particularly the emergency fund. Dave calls this 'Murphy Proofing'. You know Murphy, the dude that makes anything that can go wrong, go wrong.
Having 3 close relatives die on me in 4 years, I have been able to clear all my debt. Mr Trifectagirl would be pleased he's been able to put a secure roof over J and I's head. My Mum and step-dad pleased they've paid off my education debt. This is something I very much appreciate how lucky I am (ironic since it took my husband dying, which isn't exactly 'lucky').
I have also been able to set up a fully funded emergency fund of 6 months expenses with the residual.
Which means when my car got broken into and the window was smashed last Monday, I was able to access the funds to get it fixed with out batting an eyelid.
Then when my computer went belly-up the next day (I kid you not), I was able to head out and get a new one to keep ticking with my current studies.
So maybe based on the last week or so, Murphy will still show up, but he doesn't cause the stress and anxiety that he used to.
Before Mr Trifectagirl got sick, I was starting to get the baby steps moving. Particularly the emergency fund. Dave calls this 'Murphy Proofing'. You know Murphy, the dude that makes anything that can go wrong, go wrong.
Having 3 close relatives die on me in 4 years, I have been able to clear all my debt. Mr Trifectagirl would be pleased he's been able to put a secure roof over J and I's head. My Mum and step-dad pleased they've paid off my education debt. This is something I very much appreciate how lucky I am (ironic since it took my husband dying, which isn't exactly 'lucky').
I have also been able to set up a fully funded emergency fund of 6 months expenses with the residual.
Which means when my car got broken into and the window was smashed last Monday, I was able to access the funds to get it fixed with out batting an eyelid.
Then when my computer went belly-up the next day (I kid you not), I was able to head out and get a new one to keep ticking with my current studies.
So maybe based on the last week or so, Murphy will still show up, but he doesn't cause the stress and anxiety that he used to.
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Year 2
I am now over all the firsts since Mr Trifectagirl passed on 14 June 2012; birthdays, Christmas, Mr Trifectagirl getting sick, our wedding anniversary (4 June) and his passing.
The hardest period was the anniversary of him getting sick in March. Over the course of a month, I accessed psychology services, was advised to leave my job and I dropped both travel plans and subjects at university to relieve the pressure I was under and free up the mental space to grieve. A couple of months later, and I'm feeling a lot better.
The passing anniversary last Friday was the second hardest and has manifested itself as an inability to focus on anything for about a week around the date. Especially difficult to focus on was my accounting textbook and exam review (exam was yesterday, I think I'll pass, but don't quote me on it...).
So now, J and I are marching into year 2 without Mr Trifectagirl.
The hardest period was the anniversary of him getting sick in March. Over the course of a month, I accessed psychology services, was advised to leave my job and I dropped both travel plans and subjects at university to relieve the pressure I was under and free up the mental space to grieve. A couple of months later, and I'm feeling a lot better.
The passing anniversary last Friday was the second hardest and has manifested itself as an inability to focus on anything for about a week around the date. Especially difficult to focus on was my accounting textbook and exam review (exam was yesterday, I think I'll pass, but don't quote me on it...).
So now, J and I are marching into year 2 without Mr Trifectagirl.
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Retirement Plans
I came across an idea this morning that really grabbed me.
Taryn over at Widow's Voice is gearing up for a trip to India. As part of the post she mentioned a 'Once in a Lifetime Trip, Once a Year'.
I REALLY like this idea!! For years I've been building a list of trips I'd like to take, so I can add this concept to my savings plan and my plans for retirement (only some 20-odd years down the track...)
Taryn over at Widow's Voice is gearing up for a trip to India. As part of the post she mentioned a 'Once in a Lifetime Trip, Once a Year'.
I REALLY like this idea!! For years I've been building a list of trips I'd like to take, so I can add this concept to my savings plan and my plans for retirement (only some 20-odd years down the track...)
- Climb Kilimanjaro
- Visit Sri Lanka, probably as part of a cricket tour
- Visit Argentina
- Cruise Alaska
Trips Mr Trifectagirl & I wanted to take as a family so our children would have the experience are also on the list, but will wait until J is a bit older and he'll remember them.
- Travel the UK from John o'Groats to Lands End.
- Travel the East Cost of the USA, top to bottom.
- Do a Dawn Service at Galipolli
I also want to scatter part of Mr Trifectagirl's ashes with some of those of his father in Cork, Ireland. I'll wait until J is older so that he can remember it.
Sunday, 12 May 2013
Looking into the Future
A few weeks ago I found Mr Trifectagirl's high school report cards. His grades were generally OK, particularly in the early years, but he was described as a 'distraction' in class and his grades began to reflect that as he got older.
Two thoughts from having found those reports:
1 - I would have HATED to be his teacher.
2 - A friend mentioned that I'm probably looking into the future. She's probably right.
Friends who are choosing to send their children outside of the public school system are starting to look at schools, or receive offers of places at their chosen schools. Competition can be stiff for entry; one friend did a school tour recently planning for their 7 week old's primary school education.
Since J will start primary school in February 2016, I figured it's time to get off my butt and look at schools, both for primary and high school. For primary, I'm generally happy to send J to public school, but I've always preferred to go private for high school; Mr Trifectagirl wanted his old public school, which I wasn't too adverse to, but it wasn't my first choice.
So I did some research on the public primary school our house is zoned for. It's what is known as a 'super school', where 4 smaller schools have been brought together onto one campus. Although it's all new facilities, I'm not too impressed with the size. On the plus side, at least it's only "Birth to Year 7", not "Birth to Year 12" like many of the other new super schools Add that results in the national standardised testing place the school at the lower end of achievement and since it's a new amalgamation, there's no historical data to see if there is a trend of improvement, I'm just not comfortable with this school. So I'm going for 'out of zone' enrollment for a couple of selected public schools, with hopes of moving into the relevant zone by the time school starts or at least within the first year. I just need to finish my own studies, then get a job so I can get a mortgage to move!
For middle and high school, this week I put is name down for one of the most elite (and therefore expensive) boys schools in the city. With Mr Trifectagirl no longer with us, the structure this school will provide may well be needed, especially if J is likely to reproduce his father's report cards! I've been asked why I'm getting his name on the list now for Year 7 entry in 2023. For entry at any level, the school gives preference to brothers of current scholars and sons and grandsons of old scholars. Since J is in neither of these categories, I want his name as far up the 'unconnected' list as I can get it. It doesn't mean we have to accept any place offered, but right now I need to set up the opportunity to get an opportunity to go there.
Two thoughts from having found those reports:
1 - I would have HATED to be his teacher.
2 - A friend mentioned that I'm probably looking into the future. She's probably right.
Friends who are choosing to send their children outside of the public school system are starting to look at schools, or receive offers of places at their chosen schools. Competition can be stiff for entry; one friend did a school tour recently planning for their 7 week old's primary school education.
Since J will start primary school in February 2016, I figured it's time to get off my butt and look at schools, both for primary and high school. For primary, I'm generally happy to send J to public school, but I've always preferred to go private for high school; Mr Trifectagirl wanted his old public school, which I wasn't too adverse to, but it wasn't my first choice.
So I did some research on the public primary school our house is zoned for. It's what is known as a 'super school', where 4 smaller schools have been brought together onto one campus. Although it's all new facilities, I'm not too impressed with the size. On the plus side, at least it's only "Birth to Year 7", not "Birth to Year 12" like many of the other new super schools Add that results in the national standardised testing place the school at the lower end of achievement and since it's a new amalgamation, there's no historical data to see if there is a trend of improvement, I'm just not comfortable with this school. So I'm going for 'out of zone' enrollment for a couple of selected public schools, with hopes of moving into the relevant zone by the time school starts or at least within the first year. I just need to finish my own studies, then get a job so I can get a mortgage to move!
For middle and high school, this week I put is name down for one of the most elite (and therefore expensive) boys schools in the city. With Mr Trifectagirl no longer with us, the structure this school will provide may well be needed, especially if J is likely to reproduce his father's report cards! I've been asked why I'm getting his name on the list now for Year 7 entry in 2023. For entry at any level, the school gives preference to brothers of current scholars and sons and grandsons of old scholars. Since J is in neither of these categories, I want his name as far up the 'unconnected' list as I can get it. It doesn't mean we have to accept any place offered, but right now I need to set up the opportunity to get an opportunity to go there.
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